Volume 1: Reality – It is the way it is because it is

TOM WHITE OWNER OF SAME SAME BUT DIFFERENT HAIRDRESSERS IN WINDSOR MELBOURNEWelcome to the first edition of Tommy Talks (not affiliated with TEDtalks). Each month I will give you an insight into our world here at SSBD and certain topics that we are discussing and improving and hopefully these blogs can help you, inspire you, or sometimes just make you laugh.

At SSBD, every Wednesday we do mindset training in our meetings, and I set the crew certain challenges to aid them in life progression and growth throughout the week. For the people reading this that don’t know, I have a very keen craving to understand human behaviour and neurochemicals and their effect on a person. I have been researching and studying it for over a year now and I believe it’s a key tool for us as a salon moving forward, so we are exploring this as a collective so we can best serve you and ourselves.

So in my blogs over the next year (maybe longer if they are well received), I am going to share some of the things we do here in our Mindset and Growth Training to help all the crew understand themselves so they can understand others and hopefully they help some of you too.

First edition is my perspective on reality and the importance of emotional intellect and the acceptance of the truth when addressing YOUR reality. Hope you enjoy the read.

The last couple of years have been tough for us all and I imagine most of us will be coming out of this pandemic with some form of ‘battle scar’ one way or another. But can we use the negatives that have been thrusted into our lives as a positive driver for our future, and if so, how?

Just over 2 years ago, the first Covid-19 case had just been recorded in Australia and what a subsequent 2 years we have had to endure as people of the world and especially, as Victorians. As much as the news and our day-to-day conversations are still consumed with talk of the pandemic and the damage it is doing to people’s lives, business and especially people’s mental health, I believe it's time for us to accept and understand our reality and make the most of the time ahead of us.

I’ve always inherently believed that ease has always been a bigger threat to progress than hardship. What I mean by that is sometimes we don’t know what we are capable of until our backs are against the wall, or we encounter significant roadblocks. Nothing significant has ever been achieved in a ‘comfort zone’.

So, what can we do to help ourselves? What can we do to move forward?

Believe, trust and accept your reality whatever that reality may be. That is not only your first step, but quite possibly your only step in pushing forward and making a significant personal gain from the last two years of pain. It’s a lot easier to approach reality when looking at it with a sense of duality. Duality is seeing the positives and negatives in a situation and making an emotionally educated and well-rounded decision on how to handle or tackle it. Accepting reality with a sense of duality doesn’t mean you agree with the reality or even like it, it just means that you understand it on a deeper level, it means you are able to navigate yourself through reality based on conscious deciphering and decision making. It’s a state of mind that allows us to see situations with equality and determine, practically speaking, their purpose and our response. Most importantly though, the response is more critical brain response and less emotionally charged. That way allowing you to see insightful pathways and determine a plan of action.

In short, the acceptance of the world’s current situation and, more importantly, your current situation is the answer to coming to terms with it and making that progressive step forward.

Learning to accept a reality can be easy for some, difficult for others, and that’s ok. There are many different ways to compartmentalize your life and assess it with a sense of duality, but I will give you one personal example.

In November last year (2021), I made a ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’ list of everything that had happened in my life over the last two years. I did it because I found that Lockdown 6 had really had more of an impact on me emotionally than what I had realised after reopening, so it was more of a Gratefulness Exercise to get me connecting my heart and my head again that evolved into more of my own personal, deep diving, Q & A with myself. I assessed how much impact each one of those moments listed had on my life, and I was brutally honest with myself, and where each ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’ moment had got me. What lessons did I learn from them? How did they make me feel then and now in the present?

Do you know what I found? A lot of the great stuff that is happening right now in my life is the byproduct of the crappy situations me, my family or the crew and salon have been in. It made me step outside of myself and find a new skill or a new perspective, it made me look at the positives in the negatives. It made me EVOLVE!

In essence, what we are doing in our Mindset and Growth Meetings at the moment is really trying to understand ourselves, what is happening to us personally and as a collective right now, and really trying to understand how, ultimately, we are the designer of our own paths to greatness or despair. When you break it down, what I’m teaching them is how you think of yourself, how you talk to yourself internally and how you respect yourselves will have the most impact on your confidence, emotions and productivity above anything else or anyone else.  

See you soon.

We all smile in the same language.

Much love,

Tom